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by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 11:08 pm
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
Replies: 9
Views: 193

7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Kickback / bribe
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 11:06 pm
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: The Complete Military History of France
Replies: 7
Views: 172

The Complete Military History of France

A friend sent this to me. Cynical, yet so very true. Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by, of all things, an Italian. Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The Fi...
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 11:02 pm
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: [Iraq] Well, they got the capital; now what?
Replies: 54
Views: 882

Let's just pause for a moment and reflect on just how little we really need all this shit. Our #1 oil consumption is for gasolene, and the internal combustion engine which has been obsolete for.. how many years now? I heard that someone had a working electric engine as far back as the mid 30's, but ...
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:43 pm
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Where to you keep your sunglasses?
Replies: 42
Views: 612

Many places. It depends on my situation. 1: I'm wearing them, so they're on my face. 2: I'm going in and out of the light, so they're on my face, but resting low, so I can see in the dark and still quickly move them into position in the light. 3: On top of a bookcase right inside the front door. 4: ...
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:33 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

And does anyone mind if I post twice in rapid succession?
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:33 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

Do I look like a fucking people person?
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:31 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Things You Hate
Replies: 985
Views: 11944

I hate people who are so insecure in their convictions that they need to apply their socio-politic and/or religious beliefs to every square inch of their vehicle. I hate those lame-ass Honda Civics with the outrageously huge shopping-cart spoiler, glass-pack muffler, lowered chassis, donut tires, hu...
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:26 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Boobs
Replies: 4719
Views: 51012

BOOBS!

1 out of 3,687,412,052 doctors surveyed recommends them!
by Tim the Enchanter
Sat Apr 12, 2003 10:21 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Word Association
Replies: 19555
Views: 180059

monster
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:19 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: New Abortion Law Proposed In Georgia
Replies: 39
Views: 616

Cain: excellent point. Don't make new problems to fix old problems. That's what this is. Should this succeed, I'm sure we can expect to see it in other states soon. (Fortunately us in SoCal are too irrepressible for something like this.) And if that goes forward, can we expect a dramatic reversal in...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 6:05 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Past, present, future
Replies: 32
Views: 619

Good to hear this, Bish. The spirit is the important thing; with it intact, all other ailments can be fixed. We shall persevere. :D
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:57 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Weird Science
Replies: 38
Views: 614

Not that easy, FJ. Poachers are usually normal guys from nearby villages trying to make a few extra bucks. So yes, we can kill them just as easily as anyone else. But it would take a lot of time and effort with no guarantee of success.
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:48 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Jesus H. Christ
Replies: 40
Views: 582

Really? I figured his dad would have mentioned something about that during our Saturday golf game.
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:47 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Weird Science
Replies: 38
Views: 614

Stem cells have all sorts of applications. Limited cloning (clone an organ or a limb, for example), nerve cell repair, gene fuckin' therapy. [rant] BTW, I oppose cloning, not for the usual (dumb ass) ethical questons, but just because there's too damn many humans already. I wouldn't mind if they sta...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:42 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: How do you celebrate the holidays?
Replies: 12
Views: 154

Sheep?

I won't be doing much celebratory business. I have to work.
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:41 am
Forum: Semi-Serious Topics
Topic: Jesus H. Christ
Replies: 40
Views: 582

Wondered that myself, but I always preferred more relevant expressions, like "Christ in a Chevrolet!" or some other embarrassment.
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:36 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

Don't you know the proper answer to that?

[Bruce Willis] Negative. I am a meat popsicle. [/Bruce Willis]
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:35 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Those Wacky Christian Fundamentalists....
Replies: 21
Views: 251

Gunny: this is troubling. Not the books themselves, but rather the fact that one of the authors has the same name as my grandfather (not that it's an uncommon name, BTW).
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:23 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Boobs
Replies: 4719
Views: 51012

Now we're set. Prepare to create all-new...
[mb][glow]BOOBS![/glow][/mb]

See now! They're flying out of our Eroticon as fast as they can! Soon everyone in the world will have their own pair to fondle!
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:19 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

"Sir, are you classified as human?"
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:18 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Wednesday Funny: It's so true....
Replies: 21
Views: 231

*Tim wanders in.*

:eek
:crack

*Tim wanders out.*
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:17 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

Look, are you just toying with our minds or what?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:17 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The New Math!
Replies: 41
Views: 430

... the way I was told you have to make an exception, as in "this formula will only work if B is not zero". Otherwise, it's undefined no matter how you do it. You can't just assume that it's going to cancel out; otherwise it ain't math, it's some kind of logic/philosophy. And, according to...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:13 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: My god! They do...
Replies: 76
Views: 730

Ah, well. It seems it's time to make a protracted withdrawl from this thread (until you find someone else to gang-rape.) *Creates a gateway, neatly slicing through the fire hydrant, rendering it useless. Tim makes his escape, snapping the gate shut behind him to slice body parts off any errant UNGAM...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:10 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

Is that a trick question?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:10 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

:|
*Dumps a big bucket of soy sauce on Szechuan.*

I bet you're tasty again now! Let's see if OL agrees...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:08 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Bulldrek Transit Authority
Replies: 48
Views: 562

Damn. *Abandons the tank just in time as the grenade sails through the hatch and detonates, causing all the armor plating to fall off.* I didn't know I was driving a Russian tank! *Summons a fast car. The famous 6000 SUX appears in front of him, and he climbs in and leaves a long trail of burnt rubb...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:05 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

And there was much rejoicing.

"Yay."
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:04 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

Didn't you notice that I made my saving throw?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:03 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Bulldrek Retirement Home
Replies: 12
Views: 135

*Tim the Archmage sits around, talking to his dragon (which resembles a monitor lizard, only about five times the size).*

In my day, you stupid old lizard, dragons actually spoke when they were spoken to!

*Beats the dragon on the head with his staff.*

Dang it! Where's my stabbity knife?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:01 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

Considering how infrequently I visit Bulldrek, isn't it amazing that I've got any posts at all?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 5:00 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The New Math!
Replies: 41
Views: 430

Really. Your prof obviously has a massively different outlook than mine. In my experience, you can only divide by something that's approaching zero (for you dullards, that's the basis of calculus). Anything else, and you got to sit ineffectually while all the other students took turns cleaning the e...
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:57 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Once removed word association
Replies: 3076
Views: 32130

maimings
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:57 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Word Association
Replies: 19555
Views: 180059

What?
by Tim the Enchanter
Thu Dec 12, 2002 4:54 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Avatar Wars?
Replies: 30
Views: 256

"Unholy spells of death, Black Mage!"

MOBIUSDOKEN!!!!

*Mobius is now embedded about three miles deep in the earth. What's left of Mobius' avatar Tim draws into himself and places in his bag of magic dust.*
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:41 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Finally!
Replies: 57
Views: 582

*Frys up DM on his porto-grill.*

Anyone want a Tasty Burger? It seems I make a lot of these lately.
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:38 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: My god! They do...
Replies: 76
Views: 730

Damn the evil Werekitten! I shall escape with my dignity at least marginally intact! *Creates a space outside of time/space, where he pauses to catch his breath from the rapid-fire magic and then re-enters the thread from the other side. [fliph]There. Now I have once more been saved by my cheap tric...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:36 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Word Association
Replies: 19555
Views: 180059

*Slaps Atragon with a rubber chicken*

Now, that's funny.
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:34 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Avatar Wars?
Replies: 30
Views: 256

Avatar Wars?

As you all no doubt have discovered by now, both I and Mobius have appeared sporting the same avatar (although mine looks better, :p ). Now I could decide to be a cool guy and allow him to use stabbity BM as his avatar... or I could invoke Post Count on this topic and declare that I am the true horr...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:28 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Once removed word association
Replies: 3076
Views: 32130

*Bashes Szech over the head and quickly digs through his pockets.*
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:27 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Bulldrek Christmas Song!!!
Replies: 44
Views: 501

Bulldrek's Hell, Bulldrek's Hell,
Bulldrek all the way
Kwyndig's cruel, Caz is mad
And the tasties have to pay
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:25 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Question thread
Replies: 8679
Views: 92538

*Unfortunately for Mobius, his vaunted [glow]Electric Death [/glow] strikes Tim's Reflect Ring and is returned to its source.* Did I forget to mention that? *Tim grabs Chuckles by the shirt and sends him flying at Mobius at supersonic speeds.* CHUCKLESDOKEN!!!! Now, is there a white mage who can hea...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 9:19 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The New Math!
Replies: 41
Views: 430

Perhaps I should have said Women = | Evil | (that's absolute value for you math-inepts out there). As we all know, the absolute value of Evil is defined as a positive number (negative Evil does not equal Good; negative Evil is undefined). Therefore, we can say | Evil | = Evil And hence the formula i...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:19 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Bulldrek Transit Authority
Replies: 48
Views: 562

*Fires a toy shell at LDH.*

Oh, damn! That was a real one!
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:17 pm
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The New Math!
Replies: 41
Views: 430

Addendum: I heard someone use a formula to describe his relationship, it went something like this: Women are time and money. Time is money. Money is the root of all evil. Therefore, since Women = Time x Money and Time = Money hence Women = Money ² and since Money = √Evil hence Women = (&am...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:04 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: The Bulldrek Christmas Song!!!
Replies: 44
Views: 501

Passed out in the snow
With my basset hound Jose
Past the guards we go
Retching all the way
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:03 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Bulldrek Transit Authority
Replies: 48
Views: 562

*Shoots two passing cars, not caring that each is carrying a full load. He can see, even from this distance, that all the occupants are Tasties, and so, totally irrelevant.*
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:02 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Once removed word association
Replies: 3076
Views: 32130

Guns! Guns! Guns! Yar ho hee har har!
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 6:01 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: My god! They do...
Replies: 76
Views: 730

Damn! the Forsaken have tampered with my posting! SUPERULTRATREMENDOBALEFIRE!!! *Suddenly all time ceases, then flows backward until before the point at which the evil Forsaken infested Tim's computer. They cease to exist instantly, and time flows forward again with no memory of what passed before. ...
by Tim the Enchanter
Wed Dec 11, 2002 5:53 am
Forum: Bulldrek
Topic: Boobs
Replies: 4719
Views: 51012

*Drops two more on Atragon--or rather, one on the bad attitude that is exuding from that general direction.*

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