CAZPIT

voz · Post by **voz** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:06 pm

*Brings in a back hoe to dig a new Caz pit*

*Goes to the old Cazpit, and pulls up the old sign*

"My friends who have abused me countless times, follow me to your new home."

The 10 purple monsters all grinned evilly and follow. A couple looks down at their 9 foot prehensile cocks. Then as one, they leaped into the new pit to await the first victim.

*Re Postst the sign*

ATTENTION BULLDREKKERS!

THE CAZPIT(tm) is for all established Bulldrekkers only. Feel free to toss newbies and offensders into the Pit. The Caz Clones are trained to attack anyone with less than 1000 posts or less than one year of 'Drekking under their belt, so be careful! They WILL pull you in if you get too close and meet their "Newbie" status. So basically, No Life Losers only!

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 10:11 pm

Does No Life Loserhood carry over from teh old board? Cuz if it doesn't, we're all screwed.

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:09 pm

*pushes SS into the Cazpit, then walks away, whistling*

Lektrogirl · Post by **Lektrogirl** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:39 pm

*Sticks a finger into NiceAaron's puckered whistling mouth*

"Oh no no no... in you go!"

*Pushed NiceAaron backwards into the CazPit*

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:45 pm

*bites Lektrogirl's finger, pulling her in after*

Lektrogirl · Post by **Lektrogirl** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:53 pm

I just noticed your avatar picture, you perverted sicko bastard! How dare you forbid blow jobs!

*falls into the CazPit, then notices her signature*

"Hmmmmm..." I wonder what can happen to sweet innocent safe little ol'me in here...

"Hey, this is actually my first time down in the CazPit."

*looks around*

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Mon Mar 18, 2002 11:54 pm

This is not cazpit. It's spiked pit. You see, Cazpit has more colors

COLORS COLORS! WEREWOLVES!

Hell yeah! Where's my rolling beer?

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:36 am

Well, I suppose I could change my picture, if I had an... incentive for... repealing... it.

*looks around and notices that he and Lektro are surrounded by Caz's.

Eek!

*jumps into Lektro's arms*

Szechuan · Post by **Szechuan** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 1:59 am

I haven't seen hide nor hair of him lately. He hasn't been kidnapped by ninjas again, has he?

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:09 am

Caz's around. He has weird time, and we took over the board very quickly.

Sykoholic · Post by **Sykoholic** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:20 am

[walks into the thread, dragging a large cart that is filled to capacity with various oddities. Methodically, he begins emptying the cart. First he sets up a large BBQ. Retrieving a keg of Rolling Rock from the cart, Syko empties it into the BBQ. He then lops off one of Szechaun's legs (Sorry bud. We need this more than you do), cuts it into steaks, and adds them to the cauldron. The grunger golem them uncorks a glass vial containing a single pubic hair from a virgin mall rat (don't ask me where I got it. You don't want to know) and carefully mixes it into the brew. Several other items got into the pot and last but not least, Sykoholic gingerly includes the final secret ingredient.......... a muffin.]

[When all is prepared, the rites preformed and all the proper incantations spoken, Sykoholic tosses a incendiary grendage into the pot.......... then runs like hell.]

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:38 am

*Moto wanders by and tastes the soup.*
*sip*
"Needs more garlic."
*Begins walking away, but only gets 5 feet away before falling to his hands and knees. After much coughing, gagging, and vomiting; Moto hoarks up a hairball that bears a striking resemblence to a cybered anti-muppet.*

"Dear God..... I need to gargle bleach."

Durndal · Post by **Durndal** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 3:01 am

*wanders in* Hmm, new cazpit eh. Well bye! *runs away before anyone can catch him*

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 4:44 am

*watches Durndal run away* Pussy. *jumps down into the cazpit.* Might as well get it over with, right?

Moto42 · Post by **Moto42** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 5:55 am

*Crawls in the general direction of the nearest body of fresh water.*

Marius · Post by **Marius** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 6:03 am

*ponders the metaphysics oft the Cazpit.[/i]

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:16 am

Eclipse has his speedboat towed to the Cazpit.

Lektrogirl · Post by **Lektrogirl** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:08 am

*Falls down with NiceAaron laying on drop*

"Ugh! What do you have in your pockets, lead bananas??!"

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:12 am

Sets up a video camera pointing down into the pit.

This could be quite lucrative.

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 8:13 am

um, is there a boat ramp around here somewhere?

Kwyndig · Post by **Kwyndig** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:29 am

No, no there isn't.

*Always stays out of reach of the Caz clones in the Cazpit, that's just good sense.

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:09 pm

Hey...voz has under 100 posts. *pushes him in*

wow, that was fun.

*trips Durndel*

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:14 pm

Hey...Wolfen has less than 100...

*ties bungee cord to Wolfen and pushes him into the pit.*

Boing! Boing!

*Flame points camera at Wolfen, and watching horde of Caz trying their hard to catch Wolfen.

Boing! Boing.

*enjoys watching Wolfen recoil in horror again and again and again.

Moonwolf · Post by **Moonwolf** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:35 pm

Blade, you too have less than 1000 posts. Thus you must enter the pit.

<i>Fires mimes at Flameblade until he falls into the Cazpit</i>

Damn, this means that I'm near it as well.

Crazy Elf · Post by **Crazy Elf** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 2:39 pm

Elf flies a 747 into the Cazpit

voz · Post by **voz** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 3:21 pm

*rolls around among the monsters*

*bowls 3 purple monsters on to nice arron and lektrogirl*

"I love the caz pit, Of course I have in here longer than anyone else."

Figures, as soon as I get my p1k on the old boards, a new board shows up and I have to start all over again.

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 5:58 pm

Booing!

Shit!

Boiing!

Fuck!

Boing!

Bastard anthropomorphic kitchen knife!

Bwooing!

voz · Post by **voz** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:07 pm

Wonders which cazpit is more deadly?

Durndal · Post by **Durndal** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:15 pm

CANON BALL! *canon balls into the cazpit* What, you though I was leaving?

voz · Post by **voz** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:18 pm

No religion no canon's allowed in the cazpit.

*Smites Durndal left testicle*

Durndal · Post by **Durndal** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:27 pm

unfortunatly for voz nothing happens as Durndals left tesical was smited a while ago. My right one is in safty storage somewhere. Just in case I need it some day.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:29 pm

You forgot other stipulation: Belong to bulldrek for more than one year.

*grabs Wolfen and goes up for a ride.*

voz · Post by **voz** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 9:31 pm

Durndal sounds like a pussy so I smite your left ovary.

I pull out my 90mm RR and blast Durndal into the caz pit.

Durndal · Post by **Durndal** » Tue Mar 19, 2002 10:44 pm

let just say that my liver is feeling the pain.

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:06 am

*picks up Eclipse's boat and tosses it into the Cazpit.* There, happy? *starts arm-wrestling one of the Caz Clones.*

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:07 am

ah, thank you, much better.

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 6:37 am

No problem. *gets his arm ripped off by the Caz Clone, who promptly begins chewing on it* Hey, motherfucker, give me that back. *tries to rip it away from him*

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 6:56 am

Cazmonster and his clones whup the living hell out of Eclipse and then chomp on his still quivering flesh. As for Bishop, oh, does he wind up with a profound beating as he steps on the Rolling Rock supply hose. Bishop is reduced to gooey ick and quickly eaten on freshly fried corn chips.

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 1:34 pm

*pulls a dozen lead bananas out of his pockets and sets them aside*

Sorry.

voz · Post by **voz** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 2:43 pm

*tries to peel a lead banana but it does not seem to work.*

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 3:38 pm

"There are two fricking Caz Pits? The hell with this, Have the BattleShips open up, fuck the cruisers. I want heavy guns on this. Lets make this planet slag."

voz · Post by **voz** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 4:52 pm

And what is the target of the guns? Earth?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Mar 20, 2002 11:40 pm

Cazmonster and the Clones decide to leave the comfort of the CAZPIT for a minute to go educate Paul in all matters painful.

Aboardship, Paul is suddenly bereft of crew as the Cazmonsters shoot, chomp or plain old punch them to death.

"Hi Paul, time for you to get gibbed."

Paul goes for a 10gauge shotgun, but two of the clones tackle him while a third one wires himself into the command deck powersupply to taser Paul into submission.

"Dudes, go get the stingballs, I wanna see how many of them it will take to pulp him."

The clones drop Paul into a 15'x15' room that just happens to have several dozen softball sized holes in the roof. They gather around those holes and begin lofting stingballs down at Paul.

GeekTheMage · Post by **GeekTheMage** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:24 am

NiceAaron opens his eyes and looks around the Cazpit.

"Psst, Lektro... they're gone."

NiceAaron ponders this fact for a few moments, then hits Lektrogirl in the head with a lead banana, knocking her unconscious. He then leaves her behind in the pit while he makes his escape.

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:46 am

Oopsh. Tickle me embarrased.

Crazy Elf · Post by **Crazy Elf** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:13 am

The elf climbs out of the wreckage of his 747 and constructs robotic monkeys out of the shattered remains

"Go, Monkey Squad One, get the others while I hold them off here..."

Camera focuses in on the elf's angry eyes

"...with

SMILIES!

Have at you, Caz-scum!

"

:plode

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:42 am

Elf is position, my distraction worked.

"Stun balls, bitch do you know who I am? You had best recognize! Stun ball my ass."

Paul laughs as the fun balls richochet harmless about the room. He shoots the hand and arm signal to Sargent Major Cash, "Can we say Ambush?"

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 3:01 am

Cazmonster and the clones look down at Paul, who seems unaffected by thousands of rubber pellets striking his skin at the speed of sound.

What do we do gang?

Kick his ass!

*The sound of melee weapons being drawn slithers through the post.*

You guys sure? I mean, maybe we could just stun him in the balls?

Nuh uh, it's claymore time. Get out of the way cyborg-boy.

Cazmonster steps aside as three of the clones rip the lid off of the stingball pit and hop down to chop Paul into kibble with their 11 foot claymores.

Umm, can somebody throw us some other weapons? This room is too small for claymores.

*The sound of Paul dodging like a maniac emmanates from the room below.*

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 5:41 am

Paul drags himself thru the secret escape hatch he had Sargent Major Cash install before the op.

"Time to frickin move."

Paul stuffs the damn hatch back, after tossing some ground meat in the pit.

"That should distract them.I hope that damn Elf is position"

The Wolfen · Post by **The Wolfen** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 8:01 am

Wolfen uses the bungee cord to work up momentum, finally cuttin loose at the top of a particularly energetic Bwooing! he sails into the air.

Several seconds later a crash is heard from a nearby building as he enters through the roof

House owner: What the bloody hell are you playing at, you'll pay for that you know!
Wolfen: Snarl!
House owner: Aaaaiiiiieeeee!
House owner's family (chorus): Aaaaiiiiieeeee!
Scruntch! Thud! Crash! Crunntch! Munchmunchmunch!

CAZPIT

CAZPIT

Speaking of Caz...

Cazmonster...... I do summon thee

.

A Severe Beating!

What the frag?

Blowing things up

Point Taken

Holy Drek.