Bulldrek v3.0

Or, if you do, be sure to increase the physical security on your place or Thorn and I will break in and do all of these things to you!

We would have completed this list of all the horrible things that we had planned to do to the happy couple. Good thing they thwarted us with a brunch...

Clear JellO in the toilet, complete with a fishtank diver
Jingle Bells attached to the bedframe.
Sugar in the salt shaker and vice versa
Sew pants closed.
Reverse batteries in remotes.
Max out the volume on the alarm clocks, set them for odd times and then hide them
Unscrew, but do not remove, all light bulbs.
Max out all volumes on all entertainment appliances.
Smear vaseline on all handles.
Change outgoing message on answering machine.
Fill some room with crumpled newspaper.
Fill some drawer with packing peanuts.
Put CD's into different cases.
Change internet access password to "something funny".
Have Christian email SPAM delivered.
Peel Labels from canned goods, in fact, bring odd canned goods to strip.
Box of superballs at the head of the stairs, rigged to cascade as the door opens.
Suction cup dildo in shower.
Reprogram Tivo for mexican wrestling/soaps, fishing shows and Full House.
Fill shoes with rice.

thank Gawd for attack dogs.

Thank gawd I've been warned-- you guys just try and find me!

Cazmonster grins and points at the peanut butter and scopolamine smeared beef rib bones.

Every door has the perfect key.

The cyberfreak looks at the rib bones and salivates heavily.

*looks at the peanut butter and salivates heavily*

*Salivates heavily for no apparent reason* What? Everyone's doing it!

*Pounds the fucking hell out of LDH*

Stop being a conformist!

The cyberfreak sees all the attention being paid to his attack dog key, gets jealous, and without further thought, tears into the drug laced raw beef and peanut butter.

Mmmmm.... woozy now.

*Slaps Caz with a leg of lamb*

Wake up!

Cazmonster grabs Szechuan by the calf and savagely gnaws on his thigh.

Must... prepare for turkey sacrifice!

*attacks the leg of lamb and dangles from it, gnawing happily*

Ack! Caz! Wrong leg!

*Hands Caz a leg of Brontosaurus*

*dreads said day's arrival*

over-use of garlic on lamb...

*queezy*

Aah.. dead birds roasting on an open fire... chestnuts nowhere to be found. No bloody relatives (cause they're all dead). Can't wait.

Oh yeah. School too because my bloody Uni's administration can't read a bleeding calendar, and they scheduled Thanksgiving Day break a week early, and were too pig-headed to change it after they printed the schedules.

Bloody morons.

I got married.

It'll be 6 months as of the 18th.

Points finger at the sky, and the weather started to get "rough"

Cazmonster wrote:The cyberfreak gorges with everything he has, all in preparation for the day of days, the feast of turkey carne carnas!

Silly Cazmonster. Our thanksgiving was over a month ago!

Chuckles wrote:I got married.

It'll be 6 months as of the 18th.

Points finger at the sky, and the weather started to get "rough"

Dirty Dirty Man!

We shall find you, and then the shivaree will commence!

*Notices his inards sticking out and shrugs. He then proceeds to eat his own inards*

Fortunately I am immune from these atrocities at this stage in my life for my personality and values are geared towards personal freedom making me unwilling to sacrifice my desires for someone elses!

That and the 'M' word scares the fuck out of me

Alas Matthew finds this thread to be humourous indeed because he still searches for a woman.

HAH! The tasty feels the evilness of singleness. And Kitt needs to stop with the ness-ness.

I will never marry! At 90 years old I will be chasing the hot chicks with the walkers in my battery powered wheel chair!

Hold on, someone at the door,

*Opens door to see a 7 foot tall blond chick in a bikini holding a box of chocolates and a chainsaw*

You are the woman of my dreams, marry me!

Nightsky wrote:*Opens door to see a 7 foot tall blond chick in a bikini holding a box of chocolates and a chainsaw*

You are the woman of my dreams, marry me!

7ft tall!? you don't want a woman, you want a man in drag!!

Mmm, seven foot tall amazon...

You still have, what, 5 feet on her, Caz?

By the way, Nightsky, amazon means boobless. You really do want a man in drag!

Amazonian Warrior Women are 7 Feet tall and they use tohave boobs. It was only the accidently use of a chainsaw that caused the loss of a natural resource.

Nightsky wrote:That and the 'M' word scares the fuck out of me

Monkey? That word makes me giggle.

it's the Marriage Monkey!

AIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

*runs and hides*

Hehe, marriage monkey. That nagging feeling she gets when you've been boffing her for 10 years...

boffing? brit talk for screwing? or just me being incompetent?

Well, I'm not british. But yeah, that's what it means.

boffing... now that's a word I haven't heard since High School.

boffing is wonderfully good, and I've not heard it since high school either.

Maybe I heard it somewhere-- I was watching 16 Candles last weekend.

Damn, Bulldrek was down when Gunny and Daki got married.

And I had twin toddlers.

Ugh.

Ever want to crazy glue the kids together from some body part and claim they're siamese twins?

Even crazy glue couldn't hold those kids together...

I miss Nightsky, and Chuckles, too.

Where ar those nutters?

oh, one advice:

Check to see if your significant others is possibly gay before getting married.

and this is why I only date married chicks anymore