Bulldrek Maximum Security Penitentiary

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 3:21 pm

***Due to the recent renovations, the prison had been closed. The riot had almost cost the warden his job, but this time he was prepared. he was ready to run this place in a way that make the Marquis de Sade blanch.***

"Ladies, gentlemen, scum bags-welcome to Bulldrek Maximum Security Penitentiary"

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 10:25 pm

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 4:50 am

* PM is escorted into the prison in black and white horizontally striped pants and shirt. Two large burly men escort him to his cell and throw him inside*

YOU SON'S OF BITCHES! I'm innocent. Wait....um....why is there a black van in my cell!!!!!?????

Psykoguy · Post by **Psykoguy** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 6:08 am

Hey, that's my van, i've been keeping it there because nobody was using it, oh, and if you touch it, you DIE!

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 6:29 am

Really, listen to him, it's not a threat; the anti-theft system will actually kill you.

Paladin · Post by **Paladin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 6:35 am

If you want theres a guy two cells down who'll do it for free. though, the price is watching you make it with a pregnant ferret.

'sup to you.

Paladin

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 7:16 am

Well then, it's not exactly free, is it? You know what is, though?

*kidney-punches Paladin (with a set of spiked brass knuckles), then throws him into a cell with a rather large Ungamunga troll*

Have fun, you two.

*the screams can be heard throughout the entire prison...*

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 7:29 am

The fee is I have to make it with a pregnant ferret? Dude, I'm doing that as we speak.

* PM Pulls a rather annoyed ferret from his pants, and tries to throw it out the window. It hits the bars, and bounces off, landing hard on the concrete floor next to the tire, as PMWrestler nervously looks on. Seconds later PM wipes sweat from his brow in relief.....which then lands on the black van. Seconds later a large wooden mallet pops out from nowhere and beats PM into a flat circle, a la Roadrunner and Coyote cartoons. Suddenly the UNGAMUNGA trolls pop out of the black van, and hit PM numerous times with "BATS OF REGENERATION" The scene which occurs afterwards is too gruesome to describe, even for Bulldrek....but lets just say that it involved lasanga, a goat, Christopher Walken, a 1/8 scale model of Bill Clinton, and a juice box. *

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 8:11 am

Have you reviewed my application yet?

Paladin · Post by **Paladin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 8:17 am

*Walks out*

well, that was an interesting experience. I've never met a troll who was into BDSM on the submissive side. thanks Cyko. I'll pay you back right about now...

*Kicks Cyko's knee in from the side so that it is now broken and unable to be used. then kicks him in the head rather hard a few times, the last time a rather large breaking sound being heard. then takes the unconscious body back to its cell, and hangs it, so that the face is turned towards the wall, from a fork by impailing it through the gonads. he then proceeds to draw a nice big smiley face on the ass. Then takes a spoon and digs several holes in the back and hangs a sign right next to it that reads: Back raping: twelve cents. A small can may be seen near by. Goes back to his cell and lies down, having not commited any sexual offenses.*

Wonder what happened in the news today...

Paladin

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:34 am

Nice try kid...no, really, but...
Seeing as how I am undead, don't feel pain from conventional physical attack, have no biological functions, and also consequently cannot be knocked unconscious by said physical attacks...

*ignoring the broken knee, the fractured skull, and Paladin's delusions: grabs Paladin by his gonies, drags him across the prison to the firing range by them, then rips them off*

You weren't using those, were you?

*ties him up with barbed-wire, then proceeds to use him as target practice, converting his arms and legs into a fine pulp...one bullet at a time, keeping him nice and alive, awake, and completely aware of the pain throughout the procedure through the not-so-careful use of extensive medical knowledge*

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:38 am

*sits stupidly in a corner and watches with amusement*

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:42 am

Hey Jesse. You here as an inmate?

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:46 am

What's it to you?
*eyes dart round wildly, attempts to pick up the nearest watercooler and throw it out the window to make a bid for freedom....finds only a small cup, which bounces off the bars and hits her in the mouth, knocking out a sizable proportion of her teeth*

Oh aright yessh yessh I am...

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:46 am

Yes, remember, this is a men's facility which means that jesse must be one of those trans-am, uh, transfor , uh Tramvestumitey things....

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:52 am

Hmm, too many n00bs gettin' outta line, taken up what little cell space we have left. Maybe we should let her go, on account of we can't pronounce trans...uh...whatever.

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 9:54 am

*looks down her top*
No, I have boobs and...*gropes self* no penis...

Must just be here for entertainment after all...

Paladin · Post by **Paladin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 10:03 am

lemme see!

*Looks at Jesse's boobs*

nice...

Paladin

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 10:12 am

Damn, I knew I forgot something...
*blindfolds Paladin*
{Boob Nazi voice} No boobs for you!

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 11:13 am

AHAHA now I know my purpose here!!!!
Torture device!!!
*sings some kind of taunting *I have boobs but you may not see them* song*

The Eclipse · Post by **The Eclipse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 11:39 am

ummm.... Transviser

no... ummm.

Targevegemite!,

no that's not it either...

Tanvodite!!

.......................................

Transvalium!!!!!

Spamvestite?

......................................

Jesse · Post by **Jesse** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 12:23 pm

I'm still none of the above...

Wildfire · Post by **Wildfire** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 7:23 pm

watches the cell and wonders whether she should turn the sprinkler system on just for kicks

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Sun Mar 24, 2002 10:06 pm

Looks down his own top, waiting for boobs to appear.

Serious Paul · Post by **Serious Paul** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 1:43 am

*Warden Paul nods towards Bishop.

"We have a job for you son.Take care of business."

"Where in the blue fucking hell is my people?" Paul nods towards Flak, his arsenal sargent, "Pass out the squad gear. beat these fuckers down, and lock them all back up."

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 3:45 am

BUT I AM LOCKED UP!!

* Upon hearing this, the beatings abruptly stop. Warden Paul calmly walks over to PM's cell, and unlocks it, beckoning him outside. Once he steps foot outside, a squad of prison guards begins beating the holy hell out of him with nightsticks and tasers, as the chaos of random prisoner beatings begins again. *

Henry_of_Doom · Post by **Henry_of_Doom** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:28 am

*guard breaks henry's legs, twice* hey your lucky *two other guards break henry's other leg three times* at least they lock you up occationally *lemon juice and salt is poured on henry's wounds*

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:30 am

*directs some guards to hook up Henrys remaining testicle to an old military field telephone and crank it. The phone, not his testicle* Go ahead...bitch again.

Henry_of_Doom · Post by **Henry_of_Doom** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:33 am

heck I lost al feeling in my testicles long ago

CykoSpin · Post by **CykoSpin** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:37 am

Nah, PMWrestler, it isn't random...

*sprays mace into Henry's eyes, then unto his wounds*

...it's completely decisive and intentional.

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 4:45 am

Ever hear of electro-shock treatment? You'll get feeling back soon enough...and wish you hadn't.

Silent Sniper · Post by **Silent Sniper** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 1:14 pm

Are we allowed to tool the prisoners if they get out of line?

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 5:49 pm

If I know Paul, you can do pretty much anything you want. As long as it's painful, gruesome, and causes screams, then it's all good, chum.

voz · Post by **voz** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 6:06 pm

Ah prision, what a wonderful place. Breakfast in bed and your bitch comes to you. Those were the days. Thank god I have been pardoned by the supreme court.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 6:08 pm

You can tool the prisoners...provided that I tool you, Silent Sniper. Muahahaha...gotta love heirarchy.

OverLord · Post by **OverLord** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 8:20 pm

"Oh, Warden, I brought a little something along with me that you might like..."

*a squad of OLT guards march up behind OverLord and salute*

"These men are elite members of my shock troops. I'm sure they will be of excellent use to the facility."

*turns to the guards*

"Until further notice, you lot are under the command of the Warden, here."

voz · Post by **voz** » Mon Mar 25, 2002 8:44 pm

Holy shit. I am glad I am not a prisoner.

*runs to the hills*

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:04 am

*grumbles in the back of his cell after an invigorating round of getting beaten by guards*

"Stupid prison... I'm probably missing Angel on TV as we speak... barbarians!"

Henry_of_Doom · Post by **Henry_of_Doom** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:08 am

*the guards nail henry in the balls with a taser* yowsa, hey you were right, sweet

NiceAaron · Post by **NiceAaron** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:14 am

"How much longer are we going to have to suffer the unspeakable treatment of not shocking all our balls with tasers? C'mon, we have needs too!"

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 1:57 am

*shocks NiceAaron...just for fun.*

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 3:17 am

* Finally finishes tunneling out of his cell, and crawls through. He pops his head up, and realizes that he's made it into......The Guards Staging Room. He also realizes that Warden Paul has just handed out newly charged tasers. PM is also drenched in sweat from his recent tunneling.....well, I think you can see where this is going, so I'll spare you the details....but the screams can be heard for Miles *

Bishop · Post by **Bishop** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:04 am

[vc Pinhead] Still hungry? Ready for something that....screams? [vc Pinhead]

Tim the Enchanter · Post by **Tim the Enchanter** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:32 am

Hah! You weak, pathetic fools! You can't lock up the mighty Enchanter! All I have to do is set my Killer Rabbit on the bars to gnaw his way through... no, rabbit, where are you going? You're supposed to chew the bars! Leave that nice inmate alone! Not the testicles! NOOOOO!

Um, sorry Aaron, he gets a little carried away sometimes. But at least the guards won't shock your balls anymore!

PMWrestler · Post by **PMWrestler** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:38 am

* PM has almost passed out from the pain of being shocked repeatedly, when all of the tasers run out of energy *

THANK GOD!!

* Seconds later a big burly man with a huge cardboard box walks in. *

Man: I have an order here of 60 high quality night sticks??

Guard 1: Yeh, I'll sign for that.

* The man drops the box on PM's head, and turns and walks out. The guards then pull nightsicks from the box and begin to beat the everloving piss out of PM *

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:40 am

*Shocks the wabbit and runs away.*

Tim the Enchanter · Post by **Tim the Enchanter** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 4:49 am

YES!! RUN! RUN BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE TERRIFYING KILLER RABBIT OF CAER BANNOG! Not even I can control him for long! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henry_of_Doom · Post by **Henry_of_Doom** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 6:14 pm

*noticing that the guards have worn them selves out from beating him for so long Henry gets up and pets the terrifing killer rabit of caer bannog* ahh how cute[/i]

OverLord · Post by **OverLord** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 7:43 pm

"Now, as for - pthgh!"

*sputters as he is stuck by a splash of urine from one of the cells*

*eerily calm*

"Who did that?"

Henry_of_Doom · Post by **Henry_of_Doom** » Tue Mar 26, 2002 7:46 pm

it was the one armed man