Bulldrek v3.0

Posted: **Sat Apr 05, 2003 10:29 pm**

Szechuan stands for a moment, gathering his energy, before a nigh-infinite hail of lightning bolts erupt from the sky.

The Ghoul, eyes glowing with rage, [glow]MULTIPOWER-RIGHTTESTICLE-LEFTTESTICLE-GUNDAM-FLAME-BLADE-SLEDGEHAMMER-RIGHTOVARY-LEFTOVARY-CANNONBALL-ORIGINALCHUCKLESVERSION-NEWIMPROVEDVERSION-LIGHTSABER-DUMPTRUCK-ENERGYWAVE-GUARANTEEDNOTTOMISSFIRE-IDONTCAREHOWGOODYOUWRITEYOU'RESTILLGETTINGSMITED!!™-REVERSEENERGYWAVE-DARKMATTER-EXPLODINGSTAR-BLACKHOLE-DOOMSDAYDEVICE-DEATHSTAR-PSYCHICPOWERS-GOVERMENTSNIPER-ANGRYNUN-RULER-MEATCLEAVER-LASERGUN-MINIGUN-NOTSOMINIGUN-INFINITERAGE-BARBARIANRAGE-CAZSTRENGTH-PLANEOFSHADOW-WATERWAVE-ALLEXISTENCENONEXISTENCEANDBASICALLYEVERYDAMNBULLDREKKERNAILING-JAWDROPPING-KNEEKNOCKING-ONCEINALIFETIME-YIPPEEKIYAYMUTHAFUCKA-CROTCHKICK-BOOTTOTHEHEAD-REPEATEDCLAWINGS-HAMSTERSTYLE-LORDGODINHEAVENITHURTSSTYLE-NINJA-DAKIHULK-HELLFIRE-COLDFIRE-DARKFIRE-BAGOFDICE-BACKPACKOFGAMEBOOKS-WEAVER-WYLD-WYRM-PANTHEONIC-MAGNOSCOPIC-GEWGOGGEDLY-SUPERCALIFRAGI-HOLYSHITISTHATGYGAX-WHEREAREMYTESTICLES-MOMMYITHURTS-DOESN'TMATTERWHATPOWERSYOUHAVEYOU'RESTILLGETTINGSMITED!™-FIRETRUCKTOTHEGROIN-EARTHSHATTERING-HEARITINCHINA-ARCANEENERGY-IMGOINGOVERBOARDBUTIDON'TCARE-YOUARESOOOOOGONNAREGRETREADINGTHISTHREAD-SMITES!!!™[/glow]
each and every last one of you.

Bulldrek's collective tesicles explode with a wet, sticky KERBLAMMO!

God. Damn. That felt good.

Posted: **Sat Apr 05, 2003 11:23 pm**

You forgot ovarian. So I'm safe for the time being.

Posted: **Sat Apr 05, 2003 11:39 pm**

Nope he got them. Left ovary and right ovary wise.

Meanwhile

Ow ow ow ow ow

Posted: **Sat Apr 05, 2003 11:51 pm**

I think he blew his own testicles off too.<bleeds>

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 3:03 am**

That he did...

Ow... Now I have to recover from being neutered again...

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 3:32 am**

*Explodes from the pain*

That...was...fun...Do it.....again....

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 4:11 am**

Sweet Baby Jeebus, no! Mine just grew back and I don't think the ol' red and curlies 'll survive another blast liek that so soon!

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 4:38 am**

Bah! Take it like a man! BRING IT ON SZECHUAN!

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 5:51 am**

Oh, I'm quite done.

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 6:14 am**

Sorry, it seems I was quite blind at the time.

Runa clutches abdomen in pain.

Carry on

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 6:53 am**

Yeah, with all the Smite![glow]TM[/glow]ing going on it's no wonder you were blinded.

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 1:43 pm**

Shut up and grow some balls, Binky the Flaming Skeleton.

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 2:38 pm**

Well, way to go Szech, now you'll never get laid since you destroyed everyones organ of choice.

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 10:14 pm**

Except mine!

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 10:21 pm**

Aw jesus...I had it coming...I knew I had it coming....

*The Blade shatters.*

Posted: **Sun Apr 06, 2003 11:53 pm**

Look! There's a little guy standing in the shards of the broken flameblade grabbing where his balls should be!

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 12:18 am**

My eyes, what the fuck happened to my fucking eyes?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 12:39 am**

I have them over here. Sorry, it didn't look like you were using them.

*LDH hands ak404 his eyes back*

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 3:37 pm**

*Walks in*

Hey guys what's...

[blur]*BLAM*[/blur]

ARRRRRRRGHHHH!!!

*Limps out of the thread*

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 3:54 pm**

With a desperate leap, Cazmonster manages to bring his crotch into close proximity with Szechuan's head, so that his balls and his target's head are blow into oblivion at exactly the same time.

God and Christ, that hurt like few other pains ever.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:02 pm**

((OOC: Caz, you're an ass.

))

Szechuan's corpse crumples to the ground. As he regenerates, he can't help but be satisfied with his handiwork today, and cackled madly..

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:05 pm**

*Seeing as he is now the Lord Of Hell, Daki unleashes hoardes of fallen angels into the thread, their single mission being the torture and repeated death of Szechuan. Seeing that angels have no sex organs, they are immune to the SMITEing*

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 4:39 pm**

Daki-san. Angels are actually hermaphrodites, a la The Prophecy.

Your hosts are SMITEed. :asleep

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 5:12 pm**

*Sighs and eviscerates AnHi*

And Neal Gaiman says they have no sex... so does Kevin Smith. I say they have no sex organs and I am Lord of Hell.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 7:36 pm**

When did you get to be Lord of Hell and are you going to raise my rent on the ice rinks down in the frozen stretches of UnderHell?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 7:44 pm**

Wehn? I dunno... last week sometime. As for the rent... you keep me supplied with souls and I'll keep the rent down. Deal?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 7:55 pm**

Excellent!

Cazmonster slots his 'confidence man' persona chip and expects to pull down a long string of souls to keep the best hockey rink in the multiverse cheap for all of his multiplanar buddies to play at.

Hey, Monster's gotta keep his goodies...

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 7:58 pm**

So you're my new boss now Daki?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 7:59 pm**

[blur]*SMITEed*[/blur]

mmm... tastes like dying....

*collapse* s.... s'okie... never... p-planned on br-breeding a-a-anyway.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:04 pm**

Looks that way LDH. Now go fetch me a bottle of water. Sure is hot down here.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:05 pm**

*Goes off in search of a cold bottle of water*

Where in the hell am I going to find a cold bottle of water in Hell?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:08 pm**

*points and laughs at Daki because his idea of hell is hot*

*cough*cough*sputter*spits up a dribble of blood* still funny.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:20 pm**

AH's Soul appears in Hell. It accosts and angel and rips off the tunic. Testicles are apparent.

Hah! I knew it! I see your no-talent Neal Gaiman and raise you a Warren Ellis and Garth Ennis, both of whom say angels have genitalia!

Er...Gunny...is Aunt Flo visiting, or did you forget to put in Anti-SMITE-shields over your ovaries?

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 8:31 pm**

No... talent... Neil Gaiman....

*blinks*

...

......

[mb]HATEGASM!!!![/mb]

*Daki grabs AnHi and, using the Hanbo of Greater Smashing, turns every bone in AnHi's chest to dust. Now with a more flexible and bendable AnHi, Daki Popples him and bounces him around the thread for a bit. When he's bored of that, Daki pops his bone spurs and begins to slice and rend AnHi into strips of meet to filet for the other posters later*

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:07 pm**

Cazmonster, down near the frozen over ice rinks of hell, accosts Lord Death Hand and lets him know that he can purchase any number of well-chilled artesian well waters from the cyberfreak, at a low low cost of only one soul per hundred liters.

I call that my Arrakis deal. And you may want to go savage Ancient History before Daki destroys him past regeneration.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:08 pm**

Wishing he could die but already dead and in Hell

I never cared for any of his stuff. I thought the Sandman series was way overrated. Give me Alan Moore and the Watchmen any day! The art sucked, too! So did all of his books!

Say do souls feel pain? Becauce Daki-chan, Lord of Hell, is turning me into a non-kosher deli-meat special over here.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:15 pm**

Cazmonster hides behind triple-headed Asmodeus, as everything not real solid is about to get broked.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:27 pm**

*hur... hur... hur--HURK!*

*coughs up her ovaries*

bah, never gave me anything but trouble anyway. *tosses 'em into a garbage disposal*

say, I'm hungry! what's for lunch?? *sniff*sniff* do I smell bones being slowly smoked over a hickory fire?

btw, Neil's version of Snow White kicks ass.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:32 pm**

*LDH sneaks up behind Gunny and steals one of her pickled souls. He then rushes over to Caz*

Give me as much water as you can for this here pickled soul.

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 9:32 pm**

RAARRRRGGGGG!

*Daki grabs hold of AnHi's face and shoves it in a blender set to "Red Gooey Mess". The grinding sounds reverberates through every inch of hell as Daki is intently focusing on removing AnHi's ability to speak such blaphemous things again*

Posted: **Mon Apr 07, 2003 10:20 pm**

AH's hands quickly use sign language to try and say something to Daki-chan, Lord of Hell, Bride of Gunny

Can't we debate this like semi-rational beings?

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:06 pm**

no no!! don't give that to Caz!! it hasn't fermented yet!! if he turns into Shirley Temple, it's your fault LDH!

which reminds me...

*rotates all the pickle jars for even distilling*

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:17 pm**

You know, there's a small town outside of Birmingham called Shirley. Some guy opened up an Indian restaurant there, but instead of calling it some old cliche like the Golden Temple or whatever, he named the place the Shirley Temple. We had to visit the place for a meal at least once just for that.

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:22 pm**

Ancient history, did you know that you just insulted me?

You said, "FlameBlade is a wallowing fat asshole."

You see, I know sign language well. Study it before actually using it!

*Tosses Ancient History at Szechuan for extra SMITING*

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:49 pm**

FlakJacket wrote:You know, there's a small town outside of Birmingham called Shirley. Some guy opened up an Indian restaurant there, but instead of calling it some old cliche like the Golden Temple or whatever, he named the place the Shirley Temple. We had to visit the place for a meal at least once just for that.

Flak - that is so damn cool. Did the dude have Shirley Temple paraphenalia?

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:50 pm**

*Snatchs AnHi back*

Szechuan can have him when _I_ am damn well good and done with him!

*Growls at AnHi*

So you like to talk with your hands too?

*Using a gyaku called Hon, Daki shatters AnHi's wrists, forearm and elbow... on both arms. For good measure he stomps on AnHi's hands to turn the bones to dust*

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 2:51 pm**

Flies toward Szechuan, making further gestures

Flameblade is suddenly grapsed by a pair of adamant tongs, put on an anvil and held there by the Greek Smith God Vulcan, while Thor takes Mjolinir and proceeds to beat Flamblade into a plowshare.

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 3:52 pm**

*Plows into Ancient History, turning soil over, burying Ancient History in process.*

Posted: **Tue Apr 08, 2003 5:33 pm**

FLowers sprout from the grave, and a tombstone erupts onto the surface.

Posted: **Wed Apr 09, 2003 4:27 am**

*Walks in*
[blur][align=center][glow][mb]KERBLAMO[/mb][/glow][/align][/blur]
*Lands a few yards away, clutching himself in pain.*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

Bulldrek v3.0

Muahaha! Sweet revenge!

Muahaha! Sweet revenge!