Bulldrek v3.0

(This is a semi-story thread. The point is to make a lunatical mockery of star wars)

The Imperial Star Fornicator, Molesto, drifts quietly through space on its way to its next molestation victim, the world of Bulldrekkia. Confident in its forincating power, it approachings with no fear. Little does it know, however, that a crack team of Bulldrekian special ops have infiltred the Imperial Star Fornicator with the intention of bringing it down.

On the bridge the heavy blast doors are suddenly torn apart by a massive, all consuming fireball. Nightsky steps through the debris, wielding a stormtrooper blast rifle as the captain immediately orders for guards. A solid wall of tightly packed stormtroopers files together, less than 5 ft from the deranged Bulldrekker.

Nightsky grins psychotically and raises the balst rifle screaming "Lucy I'm home!" and opens fire, showing everything in front of him with a thick wave of flashing red bolts. As the dust clear, one thing is apparent.

Stormtrooper blast rifles are not accurate at 5ft.

*from behind Nightsky, Cash turns Nightsky's blaster rifle around and staggers off, clutching his abdomen*

"Doh! Stupid Imperial weaponry! This would never cut it at OLT!"

Nightsky grasps the Blaster Rifle by the barrel and swings it wide, cracking a stormtroopers helmet.

"Ohhhhh! So that's how they work!"

*Deep in the Imperial Ship, Daki walks the corridors with a purposeful stride. Clad in his armor as the Dy'eDrin of Mandalore, he scans the area carefully. The dull lights glint off his jet black armor, yet he makes no sound as he walks. In one hand he carries a war blade forged of mandalorian iron... capable of going toe-to-toe with any lightsaber. In his other hand, his finger rests against the trigger of a flechette rifle.*

*His goal is clear. There is a Sith on this ship. The old hatreds have never ceased. His people would never forget what was done to them by the force users and they would continue to have their blood until their fire has gone out of the universe.*

Even deeper within Molestro, Brineshrimp saunders through the winding passageways. Armed only with a roll of toilet paper and a look of intnent, he heads straight for what looks like a secluded access panel.

"This ought to do."

Ikarus the ewok rebel has been hiding in the toilet for nearly 3 days, he has brought with him is trusty primitive whoppin's stick, an old looking bow, 2 arrows and 3 rock.

Wok Wok!

[[Oh yeah, Cazbacca has got a place... now just to think of something funny to post.]]

Meanwhile back on the bridge heavy footsteps can be heard running down the corridor. Specifically, Nightsky's footsteps followed by the classical battle order "RUN AWAY!" as mobs of stormtroopers chase after him. Of course, they're really chasing that little remote control box car, but that's not the point.

*Heavy, rhythmic breathing fills the air, as Darth Kwyndig, Sith Lord walks onto the bridge.*

Who is responsible for this mess?

*At random, Darth Kwyndig twists his paw at one of the Imperial officers on the bridge, choking him to death. Unfortunately, it was the helmsman, and the Fornicator begins to list to the left.*

Next time, somebody stop me!

Nightsky falls against the bulkhead, then through a toliet room as hte Fornicator lists to port. On the plus side the stormtroopers lose track of him.

On the down side he landed on the toilet that the ewok commando and Ikarus were hiding in.

"Ouch! Don't poke me with that primitive whooping stick!"

*in this adventure, Tryyng will be playing the part of the primitive whooping stick*

POKE!!!

*my role is so limited! i could do so much more! i am a classical actor of might, trained at <<<feed interupted>>>*

*oooh, i wanna whoop 'im! I's wants to whoop 'im good!*

"Damned neutralness! I hate neutral. You never know what they're leaning towards!"

Nightsky uses the whooping stick!

*poke**Poke*poke*poke*

"I shall poke you to choosing sides!"

The ewok freedom fighter make a motion toward his rocks. He look his Nighsky eyes for a second and realise that with all his advanced gear he cannont oppose any resistance to the furry superioty ef the ewok.

Ikarus just take back his stick and get point on a sign of the wall that read "Engine Room" with a confused look.

Yappiti Yum yum knock!

"We obviously need a plan B. Quick! Let's steal TIE Fighterse from the hanger and crash them into the sides of the ship!"

Nogiti nogititit nogiti nog.

Ikarus just whoop his stick at Nightsky ankle, make a sign to follow him and get out of the restroom.

*MIGHTY ULTRA ANKLE WHOOP ATTACK!!!!*






whoop.

"OW! You coughed up furball! I'm not DONE in the bathroom yet. Besides stormtroopers are use to waiting on people in the bathroom. Imagine how long it takes them to get out of that armor to take a wiz."

pokes AH with a double bladed purple light saber

Dude, it's a double balded lightsaber, didn't you ever watch Ninja Scroll? You can do that funky boomerang thing and slice people in half! And if you don''t like purple, here you can use lava lamp mode, great for parties

flicks some switches on AH's lightsaber to make it blue with red lava blobs floating in it

Nightsky runs past the lightsabre duel, but the look of it makes him abruptly stop.

"What the hell is the matter with you two? Have you turned into Jedi hippies?!"

"We'll your playing with your lamps the smart people and I are going to steal tie fighters and crash them into the fornicator!"

*Darth Kwyndig turns round the corner, practically running straight into Nightsky.*

Ah, Rebel scum, now you face a Sith Lord.

*Darth Kwyndig brandishes his Lightsaber-claws at Nightsky, then thinks better of it and just does the chokey thingy with the Force.*

quickly shuts off the lightsaber and hides it behind her back

NO, I don't know anything about rude grafitti burned into the walls...oh, its just you, just a sec, I gotta go write "The Moff's mother was a Hut" in the mess hall, be right there

Cazbacca, the incredibly dangerous cyberwookie rogue pilot and spice snorter, leaps onto Darth Kwyndig, loads him in his Sithcaster and launches him screamingly through a nearby bulkhead.

Roaaaarrrraaaoonk! Raaaarrrhh!!

I have perfected Jedi technology! behold: the lightsaber-dildo-bong!

Cazbacca you bastard!

*Darth Kwyndig slams face-first into a blast door control panel, closing off half of the Fornicator's doors at random.*

Cazbacca, we're out of sex midgets for your harem. WIll you take ewoks instead?

Rhow you doin?

Cazbacca gets 'jiggy' with the ewoks.

Lucas called. He needs more CGI on Cazbacca 'cause he looks too real.