Bulldrek v3.0

"What do you see on the horizon, chief?"

"You mean besides the sun?"

"Yes."

In a bright white trenchcoat, with slightly ruffled shirt, FlameBlade squints toward the sky. He stands tall, wielding his signature flaming sword. He barks several quick commands to his crew on the sandship.

"You see, this is a fuckin' desert. Nothing but sands. Ye gods, sands in your britches, twistin' it up like a good bulldrek should do you. Now...remind me...what are we looking for?"

"Chief?"

"I cannot abide incompetence, and I'm sure that you know that it's your second warning. You're fortunate that I give out three warnings. So...remind me...what are we looking for?"

"Previous first mate knew it, and didn't tell me before you gave him his third warning."

With a strong crack, the seventy-third of long lines of many first mate collapses over the bar only to be swallowed up by the moving sandship.

"Now you're my seventy-fourth first mate...tell me what we're looking for?"

"Chief, we're looking for a treasure, sir!"

"What kind?"

"Treasure of powers from beyond, sir!"

"Exactly what?"

"Classified, sir!"

"Good man. You know the rules very well...no need to blab it around."

With some ashes of 73rd first mate dripping from FlameBlade's flaming sword, Flame turns toward the sun, trying to make out what is ahead him.

"It's good to be back."

*A figure comes stalking out of the swirling sands, his longcoat billowing in the wind as he tries to get the attention of the passing vessel*

Ahoy! FlameBlade! Permission to come aboard? It's damned good to see another familiar face around here!

Kitt, carrying a large kevlar parasol, steps on deck from one of the lower levels.
"Yo, Cap!" she calls, clearly talking to Flameblade. "Are we still instituting the 'shoot-anyone-who-knows-your-name-and-isn't-already-on-board' rule?" She smirks a little and glances over at the pile of skulls next to the cannon on the front of the ship. "We ran out of cannon balls about 10 victims back, but if we fill the skulls with enough of last week's breakfast, they kill twice as well as the metal shit ever did."

FlameBlade peers at the dusty figure, and grins,

"Come one, come all....if you can get on! Considering that this sandship is heading at you...at approximately fifty miles per hour, and somehow autopilot is plotting a route over your face, you'd best try for it quickly as you can. This sandship do not stop for anything...ever. It's a wonder that I have so many crewmates on this ship.

When I think about it...it's also a wonder that so many people died as well. Ah well, that's okay. There are adventures to go on!"

Then FlameBlade turns to Kitt, "Make it hard as possible for him. But don't kill him...but if he dies under the sandship, that's okay too, but we shouldn't waste bullets on him. It should also be mentioned that regeneration doesn't quite work well on this metaplane."

Then he disappears into the captain's gallery.

A sharp whistle blows, growing louder by the second. As the sound of whirring air reaches a crecsendo, its abruptly cut short by a even louder *WHAM! *

Tiny Deev stands up, dusts off his ragged clothing, and looks up at FlameBlade and salutes.

"Reporting for duty, sir!"

With all the ruckus going on Heavy_D emerges from the galley of the sandship with a slightly agitated look on his face.

"was someone complaining about breakfast?"

With a knife the size of a claymore a trembling deckhand is mowed down.

* Heavy_D eyeballs Kitt to ensure that no criticism is tolerated*

"More complaints that need looking into?"

*Pops back out and looks at Kitt.*

"Just as I thought. Kitt is clearly not doing her job. She's stalling. YOU, yes, you with hands holding up your heavy Dick, oh wait, nice claymore. Take over Kitt. Send her over. I don't care. We're going to find a treasure, and people are going to work for me. Nothing else. Now let me consult the map."

*pops back in*

*30 seconds later*

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN, BLUE X MARKS THE SPOT?!?!"

"I think that means we should look for a blue X... And I happen to have some blue Xtacy pills right here, how conventient!"
*Tiny Deev offers FlameBlade a small blue pill, with a Mitsubishi logo on it before gulping down a hand full himself.*
"You look pretty..."

You clearly misunderstood me, T-D.

Here's RED Paint, and make it right!

*tosses T-D red paint and shoves him out of the Captain's Gallery.*

With a hop, skip, and a loop of asshair, TGC swings aboard the passing ship with Grace...namely, his middle name as he faceplants in the middle of the rear deck, sending dust and dingleberries flying hither and yon.

Yaaargh...where be the rum? I've got multiple wounds to clean now...