The Taste of Formaldehyde

Bethyaga · Post by **Bethyaga** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 1:58 pm

Yet another fact you could have gone your whole life not knowing:

In my opinion, the most important ingredient in toothpaste is the formaldehyde. Seriously. Your mouth is one of the most bacteria-ridden places on your body, and after brushing your teeth, you leave that brush on a ledge or in a rack there in the moist air of the bathroom. Without the formaldehyde, that brush would be crawling with mold and disease within 24 hours.

The other really important ingredient in my opinion is the flavoring. They need something to cover up the taste of formaldehyde and detergent.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:05 pm

Formaldehyde...isn't that a chemical used to preserve dead animals?

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:09 pm

Bethyaga wrote:Your mouth is one of the most bacteria-ridden places on your body, ...

I've always understood that because of these bacteria your mouth is actually quite clean. As [circumstantial] evidence, I present the healing time of a tongue piercing [2 days] vs. a belly button piercing [up to 2 months].

Dennis · Post by **Dennis** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:17 pm

Yeah, I heard that, too. I thought siliva had a bunch of natural disinfectants in it. I also heard that cats are the exception to the rule.

Jackal · Post by **Jackal** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:34 pm

Mmm, makes me want to brush right now.

Here's another little known fact for you.

Methylene chloride is widely used in the United States to decaffeinate coffee which is a a formaldehyde product.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:35 pm

Eva wrote:I've always understood that because of these bacteria your mouth is actually quite clean. As [circumstantial] evidence, I present the healing time of a tongue piercing [2 days] vs. a belly button piercing [up to 2 months].

I present to you a tale from Miss Murphy's book. *ahem*

whenever I bite into my cheek (accidents of course), I must rinse my mouth twice a day with a combo of water and peroxide (or Listerine if I can stand it). I must do this because if I don't, I will incur something similar to rabies and find myself with an infection where the bite occured. I once left the bite alone (after treating it with a chemical burn) and it grew into a hole of considerable size (almost the size of a dime). just breathing through my mouth was excruciating pain. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't close my mouth at all because if my teeth touched it... OUCHIE.

I went to the ER because I'd have to wait for a regular physician. the ER doc gave me a shot that was very similar to what's given to rabies victims. he then told me that I had to be very careful because the mouth is teeming with bacteria combined with the high PH levels in the mouth, can make even the simplest scratch on the cheek a haven for infection.

*closes the book* so, the moral of this story is, do NOT put your finger anywhere near Gunny's mouth unless you want rabies.

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:37 pm

Jackal wrote:Methylene chloride is widely used in the United States to decaffeinate coffee which is a a formaldehyde product.

That's nice. So I'm cutting the caffeine and working up a formaldehyde habit. That's just peachy.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:39 pm

formaldehyde is often used to lace many of today's drugs. it is also a drug all on its own when mixed with LSD (or is it another drug? I can't remember) to create what they call in Texas, Fry Sticks.

Matt McS · Post by **Matt McS** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 3:49 pm

Hmmm... I should call my slightly addled friend in Humble about that. If it's wacky forms of illict drugs, then he'll know about it. Fry Sticks, eh?

3278 · Post by **3278** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 3:52 pm

Bethyaga wrote:The other really important ingredient in my opinion is the flavoring. They need something to cover up the taste of formaldehyde and detergent.

The flavoring they use - triple-strength pure peppermint - is so powerful that one must wear a respirator when in the mixing room; it possesses a Toxicity of, I think, 4, equal to that of tolulene.

Of course, the real star of the show is chalk, which is what - unless you use one of those funny toothpastes - actually grinds all that stuff off your teeth. Unfortunately, the manufacturing process can't be terribly selective, and some of those bits of chalk are actually pretty large, and scoop giant chunks out of your enamel.

Perhaps my favorite ingredient is the stuff in latex paint that makes latex paint white. They use it in toothpaste for that "after your brush" flash of teeth in front of the mirror. I washes off and you swallow it in a few minutes.

And, of course, it gets worse; there's an ingredient very closely related to antifreeze in there, and seaweed, like everything else. If it disturbs you, take heart: scientific studies have shown that using just a toothbrush and water is nearly as effective.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 4:40 pm

Tom's of Maine makes toothpaste that isn't scary.
See!

Dennis · Post by **Dennis** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 4:54 pm

Eva and Sam always bring truckloads of Crest from the States, and I simply can't stand the stuff. As Earl said, triple-strength is what they bring back, and all that baking-sode makes my lips sensitive all day long.

"Hate" is the word I use to describe Crest.

...oh, and "bad for your teeth" are a couple more. All that baking soda might get the nicotine colour off your teeth, but with it goes the glazing.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 4:59 pm

Crest is vile, no arguement. The Tom's stuff is good so long as you don't get any backwash in your crotch. A crotch full of mint always sucks.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:21 pm

Dennis wrote:Yeah, I heard that, too. I thought siliva had a bunch of natural disinfectants in it. I also heard that cats are the exception to the rule.

Actually, from what I recall humans have some of the foulest, dirtiest mouths of all animals barring true carrion scavengers, and things like alligators who have rotting meat stuck between their teeth.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:23 pm

Caz wrote:Crest is vile, no arguement. The Tom's stuff is good so long as you don't get any backwash in your crotch. A crotch full of mint always sucks.

So don't brush and blow?

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:29 pm

Dude, it's not like I do that kind of thing on purpose. Brushing in the shower leads to minty goo traveling south...

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 5:50 pm

Spiral wrote:Actually, from what I recall humans have some of the foulest, dirtiest mouths of all animals barring true carrion scavengers, and things like alligators who have rotting meat stuck between their teeth.

not to mention the Komodo Dragon and the disease ridden bacteria in its mouth.

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Wed Feb 05, 2003 11:45 pm

Eva wrote:I've always understood that because of these bacteria your mouth is actually quite clean. As [circumstantial] evidence, I present the healing time of a tongue piercing [2 days] vs. a belly button piercing [up to 2 months].

I always thought that was because your tongue is muscle but your belly button was just skin...(although my theory is just as circumstantial...)

Bethyaga · Post by **Bethyaga** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 12:43 am

Cazmonster wrote:Dude, it's not like I do that kind of thing on purpose. Brushing in the shower leads to minty goo traveling south...

Word, brother.

FlakJacket · Post by **FlakJacket** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 2:13 am

So, um, a simple solution might be waiting to you got out of the shower? Less chance of a minty fresh manhood then.

sinsual · Post by **sinsual** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:07 am

uhm...many major brands of beer use formaldehyde on the hops...and some just use it as a preservative...

Bethyaga · Post by **Bethyaga** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 4:54 am

FlakJacket wrote:So, um, a simple solution might be waiting to you got out of the shower? Less chance of a minty fresh manhood then.

Dude. Stop there. Obviously you are not clued into the beauty and simplicity of brushing in the shower. Sure, it wastes water. Don't care. When you brush your teeth out of the shower... like at the sink... it becomes a chore. It's messier. It's easy to skip it because you think you're in a hurry. Not so in the shower.

I had a friend in college who had the same theory about chew. He always had a bit of chew in, but he said the shower was the best place, because you didn't have to be so careful about where you spit. Ew.

FlameBlade · Post by **FlameBlade** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 5:40 am

mmm...for some reason, this thread reminds me of chloroform.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:30 pm

FlakJacket wrote:So, um, a simple solution might be waiting to you got out of the shower? Less chance of a minty fresh manhood then.

Jackal · Post by **Jackal** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:43 pm

Eva wrote:
Jackal wrote:Methylene chloride is widely used in the United States to decaffeinate coffee which is a a formaldehyde product.
That's nice. So I'm cutting the caffeine and working up a formaldehyde habit. That's just peachy.

Don't feel bad, there's so much formaldehyde in coffee beans to begin with that part of the reason for th eroasting process is just to get all the toxic chemicals out of it in the first place.

Szechuan · Post by **Szechuan** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:48 pm

I'm so glad I never brush my teeth or drink coffee.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:51 pm

Bethyaga wrote:
FlakJacket wrote:So, um, a simple solution might be waiting to you got out of the shower? Less chance of a minty fresh manhood then.
Dude. Stop there. Obviously you are not clued into the beauty and simplicity of brushing in the shower. Sure, it wastes water. Don't care. When you brush your teeth out of the shower... like at the sink... it becomes a chore. It's messier. It's easy to skip it because you think you're in a hurry. Not so in the shower.

Word the hell up, brother. Over the sink is only for emergencies, like too much hotsauce.

Dennis · Post by **Dennis** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:55 pm

Bethyaga wrote:Dude. Stop there. Obviously you are not clued into the beauty and simplicity of brushing in the shower. Sure, it wastes water. Don't care. When you brush your teeth out of the shower... like at the sink... it becomes a chore. It's messier. It's easy to skip it because you think you're in a hurry. Not so in the shower.

I'm not alone! I feel so happy.

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 3:58 pm

Szechuan wrote:I'm so glad I never brush my teeth or drink coffee.

okay, the not drinking coffee part I can understand... but not brushing your teeth?!!? DUDE!!! EW!

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 4:41 pm

Thre little smiley means that he was making a joke (at least I hope so...)

Gunny · Post by **Gunny** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 5:15 pm

I wouldn't put anything past Szech.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Thu Feb 06, 2003 5:46 pm

Ehh, he's Canadian, they're almost as fastidious as the Icelandic people.

Wildfire · Post by **Wildfire** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 1:59 am

reads toothpate ingredients

Sodium Fluoride 0.24%, sodium bicarbonate, PEG/PPG-38/8 copolymer, PEG/PPG-116/66 copolymer, milled sodium percarbonate, silica, sodium laurayl sarcosinate, sodium saccharin, flavor, water, sodium lauryl sulfate

Not too terribly bad. And as a side note, who in their right or even un-right mind would want anise flavored toothpaste?! Ick, ick, ick.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 6:11 am

Brushing /not/ in the shower wastes time, something I generally have precious little of in the morning. (And not brushing in the morning is the leading cause of Trench Mouth.)

Get in shower. Put in shampoo. Brush teeth. Rinse out shampoo, put in conditioner. Wash body. Rinse body, rinse hair. Out.

Simplicity itself.

FlakJacket · Post by **FlakJacket** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 7:16 am

Hhmm, five extra minutes in the nice warm shower. This idea of yours might have some value after all.

Thorn · Post by **Thorn** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 8:01 am

That's what I'm talkin' about, man!

Besides - since Caz and I usually shower together (I said we're usually really short on time), that means I get five extra minutes in the nice warm shower. With the minty fresh manhood...... :cool

Eva · Post by **Eva** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 8:26 am

Now that I could've done without.

Cazmonster · Post by **Cazmonster** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 3:27 pm

Cazmonster flexes his minty manliness.

Matt McS · Post by **Matt McS** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 3:34 pm

Ummm.... uhhh. I think I'll chalk this one up as "TMI"

Daki · Post by **Daki** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 3:51 pm

Bad mental image... must think of something else...

GAH! Mental image is winning!

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 8:00 pm

Well here's something to contemplate instead...

A few years back my Mom found some all-natural sore throat remedy pills. I'll have to see if I can track some down so I can get the total ingrediant list, but I distinctly remember them including such items as "Viper's Venom" and "Cyanide of Mercury". Consequently, they worked like a charm.

Spiral · Post by **Spiral** » Fri Feb 07, 2003 9:04 pm

Thorn wrote:That's what I'm talkin' about, man!

Besides - since Caz and I usually shower together (I said we're usually really short on time), that means I get five extra minutes in the nice warm shower. With the minty fresh manhood...... :cool

Actually, I originally thought the manhood in question was minty fresh because *someone* brushed before instead of after.

sinsual · Post by **sinsual** » Sat Feb 08, 2003 7:37 am

Thorn wrote:That's what I'm talkin' about, man!

Besides - since Caz and I usually shower together (I said we're usually really short on time), that means I get five extra minutes in the nice warm shower. With the minty fresh manhood...... :cool

hrm....minty fresh manhood....AND A 9 FOOT PREHENSILE COCK!!!!!

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Sat Feb 08, 2003 4:38 pm

A few years back my Mom found some all-natural sore throat remedy pills.

On the all natural boat....

I used to have a major problem with Poison Ivy. I'd get it, and it would just run rampant. This would happen 1-2 times a year, and I would spend a month absolutly miserable. Then my mom found "Itch Nix". Some all natural stuff she got through her food co-op. It claimed to not only stop the itching, but stop the spread of poison ivy. The ingrediants were all natural (with some odd ones like dandelions and rose petals), but I was fairly desperate so I'd try anything.

I'll be damned if it didn't work. Next time I got a little patch on my knee, I sprayed it with Itch Nix. Twice a day just like the directions said. It did nothing for the itch, but it stopped the spread and increased healing time. 1 week later I was healed.

Unfortuantly, that's the only success my Mom has had on the all natural boat. Oh well....

Cash · Post by **Cash** » Sat Feb 08, 2003 7:16 pm

Do what I did. Move to where there is none.

I'm madly allergic to poison ivy...

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Sat Feb 08, 2003 7:20 pm

*MooCow puts "Poison Ivy for Cash's sleeping bag" on the list of things to bring to The Gathering and/or GenCon*

:evil

FlakJacket · Post by **FlakJacket** » Sat Feb 08, 2003 10:12 pm

*Adds "Soak Moo's cow hat in vodka and set on fire" right underneath that.*

MooCow · Post by **MooCow** » Sun Feb 09, 2003 12:00 am

*Adds "Soak Flak in vodka and set on fire"*

Big Jim · Post by **Big Jim** » Sun Feb 09, 2003 5:21 am

*Adds "Find someplace to stay that isn't on fire"*

lordhellion · Post by **lordhellion** » Mon Feb 10, 2003 5:40 am

Cash wrote:I'm madly allergic to poison ivy...

Yeah, out here on the west coast we just have poion oak.

The Taste of Formaldehyde

The Taste of Formaldehyde

Re: The Taste of Formaldehyde

Re: The Taste of Formaldehyde

Re: The Taste of Formaldehyde

Re: The Taste of Formaldehyde