[16:44] <Eli> FINE! I don't think we should see each other anymore!
[16:44] <Eli> *sob*
[16:44] <Daki> Who gets the cat?
[16:44] <BigJim-Work> FINE!
[16:44] <Eli> ME!
[16:44] <Eli> I GET THE CAT!
[16:45] * BigJim-Work runs off crying. Much slamming of doors ensues.
[16:45] <ZeMookie> Nice going! He will be crying in the bathroom for hours now
[16:45] <BigJim-Work> You always loved that cat more than me!
[16:45] <Eli> I didn't know we had doors? *gives one a test slam* Nice!
[16:45] <BigJim-Work> Just because you liked its sandpaper tongue on your...I've said
too much.
[16:46] <ZeMookie> O_O
[16:47] <Eli> There was no toilet paper, what was I to do?
[16:47] <Daki> Jim, we all know you were just upset because the Cat never gave you
attention. Don't take that out on Eli.
[16:47] <ZeMookie> Yeah....the cat just thought you tasted funny...er. Yeah *wanders away*
[16:48] <Eli> Wow, I broke people. I never break people
![Happy faces. :)](./images/smilies/bd_smile.gif)
[16:48] <Szechuan> oO
[16:48] <BigJim-Work> We win!
[16:48] <Daki> I thought you broke up!
[16:49] <BigJim-Work> You can't stop true love!
[16:49] <Eli> It was all a ploy to dishearten Raoul!
[16:50] <Szechuan> But Raoul is dead! All this time Jim's actually been cheating on you
with his corpse!
[16:50] <ZeMookie> This is better than TV
[16:55] * mookie (
d42d86e6@dumpshock-866DAB75.dsl.chcgil.ameritech.net) has joined
#bulldrek
[16:56] <BigJim-Work> Do you know how helpful rigor is for certain problems?
[16:56] <Daki> So when is the wedding?
[16:56] <mookie> Wedding? I get bumped and miss a wedding....
[16:56] <Szechuan> Eli and Jim.
[16:56] <BigJim-Work> Just as soon as there is a state with enough courage to recognize that you don't have to be living to be in love.
[16:57] * Eli jumps in Daki's arms, "Let's elope."
[16:57] <TejaWork> Aww. The love!!!
[16:57] <Szechuan>
![How much difference does it make? :|](./images/smilies/bd_indifferent.gif)
[16:57] <mookie> Thanks Szech. but....who is the dead guy?
[16:57] <Szechuan> Raoul.
[16:58] <BigJim-Work> Daki! You two-timing bastard!
[16:58] <Eli> Kiss me, Daki!
[16:58] <Szechuan> Jim is cheating on Eli with Raoul. Eli is secretly eloping with Daki.
Daki hasn't told Eli about Gunny. Teja is trying to have them all killed so she can win
the inheritance.
[16:58] <Rato> And then aliens.
[16:59] <Szechuan> Problem is, you just woke from your coma, foiling Teja's inheritance
plans. But the murders have already been arranged.
[16:59] <Szechuan> The aliens are an elaborate ploy. They are actually my evil twin's
doing.
[16:59] <Maelwys> Of course, since Szechuan is an alien, the fact that it's his evil
twin's doing means that it's still a plot by aliens.
[17:00] <Szechuan> The aliens are there to sow chaos and destruction, to provide a cover for the murders. My evil twin has tricked Teja into believing that he is in league with her. And Eli thinks the alien is me.
[17:00] <Szechuan> But, this week, we have revealed that.. GASP..
[17:00] <Szechuan> *sticks on fake beard*
[17:00] <Szechuan> I AM MY EVIL TWIN!
[17:02] <Szechuan> Stay tuned next week, when we reveal the father of Rato's baby!
[17:02] <Szechuan> (Sneak Peek: It involves Mookie's semen being harvested, and then secretly planted in Teja's condom, which is designed to break while inside Rato at the right moment.)
[17:03] <Szechuan> Cuz' Teja is boning Rato on the side, in case she needs a bodyguard.
[17:03] <mookie> Mookie is amazed!!!! I don't even have man parts!
[17:03] <Szechuan> Neither does Teja.
[17:03] * mookie lifts up her dress
[17:03] <mookie> nope
[17:03] <BigJim-Work> You fool!
[17:03] <Szechuan> And a pregnant man is a hormonally-charged beast.
[17:04] <BigJim-Work> You've just fallen victum to his plot!
[17:04] <mookie> AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[17:04] <BigJim-Work> All he wanted was to see up your dress! The whole thing was an elaborate scheme on his part!
[17:04] <mookie> I feel so...dirty
[17:05] <BigJim-Work> As well you should.
[17:05] <Szechuan> How wrong you are, Jim! That was just a distraction so that I could.. ATTACH MOOKIE'S PENIS TO MYSELF, BECOMING THE VESSEL OF THE GREAT OLD ONE, DOUBLEDICKIDUS!
[17:05] * Szechuan grows tentacles and eats San Francisco.
[17:05] * Skya shudders
[17:05] <Eli> Jim, fallen victim to /his/ plot? The plot seems to be on a homicidal
rampage.
[17:06] <Szechuan> Of course, this was all an elaborate plot by the greatest of old
ones, Garey Busey, to drive Skya slowly insane.
[17:06] <BigJim-Work> My god. There are layers upon layers here.
[17:06] * Szechuan bows.
[17:06] <BigJim-Work> None of which make any sense at all.
[17:06] <Szechuan> If it made sense, we wouldn't be able to introduce new characters
through holes in the plot.
[17:06] <mookie> It IS a soap opera!
[17:06] <Skya> it's working Szech
[17:07] * Szechuan2 (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) has joined #bulldrek
[17:07] * Szechuan2 beams aboard.
[17:07] <Szechuan2> You did not plan on the aliens being so clever, did you, Szechuan?!
[17:07] * Szechuan gasps.
[17:07] <Szechuan> YOU!
[17:07] <Szechuan2> Yes, me! Muahaha!
[17:07] * Szechuan2 strokes his much manlier beard.
[17:07] * Szechuan recoils in horror!
[17:07] <mookie> O_o
[17:08] * Skya snickers
[17:08] <Szechuan2> Become what you were born to be: A third-rate chorus girl harvesting semen for the aliens' use!
[17:08] <Szechuan> NO! NEVER! The other girls taught me that I have feelings. Values!
Self-worth! i'll never give in to your nefarious plan!
[17:08] * EvilLandlord (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) has joined #bulldrek
[17:09] <EvilLandlord> Not if I have anything to say about it!
[17:09] <Szechuan> But I can't pay the rent!
[17:09] <EvilLandlord> You MUST pay the rent!
[17:09] <Szechuan2> Muahaha!
[17:09] <Szechuan> No! NOOO!
[17:09] <Szechuan2> You see? You have no choice! Come with us, or face the wrath of the American Beaureacracy!
[17:09] * BigJim-Work attempts to crash the channel.
[17:09] <Eli> It's the attack of an early episode Star Wars movie. RUN!
[17:09] * EvilLandlord uncovers his disguise!
[17:10] * EvilLandlord is now known as AmericanBeaureacracy
[17:10] * AmericanBeaureacracy stands akimbo.
[17:10] <AmericanBeaureacracy> Fear me! You will sit in long lines! but not chorus
lines! UNEMPLOYMENT LINES!
[17:10] <Szechuan> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
[17:10] * AmericanBeaureacracy cackles with evil!
[17:11] <Lilith> Alright.
[17:11] <Szechuan2> As you can see, you have no choice, Szechuan! Join the hive!
[17:11] <Lilith> Who let Szechuan into the expired cough syrup this time?
[17:11] <Szechuan> But you didn't bet on the power of SONG!
[17:11] <Szechuan2> SONG?
[17:11] <AmericanBeaureacracy> SONG?!
[17:11] <Szechuan> Yes, SONG!
[17:11] <Eli> Oh good, he's getting into the big disney musical ending.
[17:11] <mookie> I think its more than cough syrup
[17:11] <BigJim-Work> If this doesn't involve Elvis, I'm going to be pissed
[17:11] * Szechuan enters into a terrifying rendition of "I'm going to make it after
all"
[17:12] * Szechuan2 screams and implodes.
[17:12] * Szechuan2 (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) Quit (Quit: Imploded.)
[17:12] * AmericanBeaureacracy curses and draws a gun!
[17:12] * AmericanBeaureacracy fires!
[17:12] * AmericanBeaureacracy hears a *click*
[17:12] <Szechuan> "I'm going to make it after aaaaaaaalll!"
[17:13] <AmericanBeaureacracy> Oh no! I didn't requisition bullets three to six weeks in
advance! I'll get you next time, Szechuan! NEXT TIIIIIIIIME!
[17:13] * AmericanBeaureacracy disappears in a flash of paperwork.
[17:13] * AmericanBeaureacracy (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) Quit (Quit: CGI:IRC 0.5.4 (2004/01/29))
[17:13] * Szechuan bows.
[17:13] <mookie> sorry jim...Elvis did not save the day
[17:13] <Skya> Lil, I think it was Eli
[17:13] * BigJim-Work stabs Szech in the back with a rusty pitchfork.
[17:14] * Elvis[sonotdead] (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) has joined #bulldrek
[17:14] <Elvis[sonotdead]> Actually, I was his vocal coach.
[17:14] <Szechuan> Et tu, Bigjim?
[17:14] * Szechuan dies.
[17:14] * IC_Work (
c058d427@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) has joined #bulldrek
[17:14] * Skya huzzahs!
[17:15] <Elvis[sonotdead]> That's a hunkahunka burnin' hate you got there, Jim Boy.
Let's go to Graceland and murder us some Television sets.
[17:15] <BigJim-Work> Now I can have Elvis all to myself! To hell with Raoul!
[17:15] * Elvis[sonotdead] drives away.
[17:15] * Elvis[sonotdead] (
9c221ba3@dumpshock-8257770E.dumpshock.com) Quit (Quit: CGI:IRC 0.5.4 (2004/01/29))
[17:15] * Szechuan is now known as SzechDead
[17:15] <Maelwys> Way to drive Elvis away.
[17:15] <mookie> wow.. where doen't the king pop up??
[17:15] <BigJim-Work> Elvis isn't gone. He's here! In every one of us!
[17:16] * SzechDead communicates with Raoul's spirit, who claims this was all his doing
so he could get Jim out of here and be with Eli forever.
[17:16] * Kai grabs Eli
[17:16] <Kai> Mine!
[17:16] * SzechDead is now known as Szechuan
[17:16] * Szechuan is wrenched back to the respawn point.
[17:16] * Szechuan bows. "Thank you! Thank you!"
[17:16] <Eli> Eek! Yay for Stories and eek!
[17:16] * BigJim-Work applauds.
[17:16] * mookie golf claps
[17:17] <Szechuan> Who says theatre is dead?