What the...
What the...
You kow, I've been here for a while, posting here and there, but I'd never checked this area of the website.
Wow
Is it some kind of ritual to abuse new members? Does everyone have a dark side I didn't suspect of?
Wow
Is it some kind of ritual to abuse new members? Does everyone have a dark side I didn't suspect of?
- Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
- Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
- Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
*four ears of corn fly out and pin JongWK to the wall and a husk grabs his head, face-hugger style*
Name where that came from and get a cookie. And no, the cookie will not attack you.
*four ears of corn fly out and pin JongWK to the wall and a husk grabs his head, face-hugger style*
Name where that came from and get a cookie. And no, the cookie will not attack you.
_
The Duke of Slack
Wielder of the Axe of Mass Destruction
Keeper of the Food Loaf
Quote of the random period of time:
Beware, naughty children, for the bells herald Santa's dark harvest of souls...
The Duke of Slack
Wielder of the Axe of Mass Destruction
Keeper of the Food Loaf
Quote of the random period of time:
Beware, naughty children, for the bells herald Santa's dark harvest of souls...
Here is your Mutant Kitten Overseer, his name is Rusty.
Put him on your shoulder, do what he says, and you are guaranteed a happier, healthy life.
Put him on your shoulder, do what he says, and you are guaranteed a happier, healthy life.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
"Society without religion is like a psychopath without a gun"
"Society without religion is like a psychopath without a gun"
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
-
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2163
- Joined: Thu Aug 08, 2002 1:50 am
- Location: Pueblo Corporate Council
- Contact:
Out of the silence of the thread, the piercing beeping of a reversing-alarm gives Jong warning of the impending doom; but being a goo, he cannot run very fast. A dumptruck looms over the gooed-Tasty, and the back opens, dumping two long tonnes of cobblestones onto the Tasty.
"Someone call for some stones?" Baron calls from the cab, with an evil grin
"Someone call for some stones?" Baron calls from the cab, with an evil grin
- Kitt
- Baron of the Imperium
- Posts: 3812
- Joined: Sat Mar 30, 2002 5:42 pm
- Location: The state of insanity
*Kitt pimp-limps into the thread, lacking her pimp stick. She seems angry as she ambles up to LDH, one hand behind her back. She takes one of the sticks that he was using to turn Jong into a puddle, then proceeds to whap LDH upside the head with a frying pan, which was behind her back the whole time.*
"Watch which stick you use, putz. I hope you didnt get Jong goo on my stick."
"Watch which stick you use, putz. I hope you didnt get Jong goo on my stick."
Real life quotes, courtesy of the PetsHotel:
"Drop it, you pervert!"
"Ma'am? Ma'am! You are very round."
"It's a hump-a-palooza today."
"Everybody get away from the poop bucket!"
"Drop it, you pervert!"
"Ma'am? Ma'am! You are very round."
"It's a hump-a-palooza today."
"Everybody get away from the poop bucket!"
- Kwyndig
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3613
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:55 am
- Location: The Orbiting Volcano Lair, high above the surface of Bulldrek
- Contact:
*Nods.*
This ain't going to be pretty for Jong...
This ain't going to be pretty for Jong...
kwyndig@yahoo.com This sig for rent, reasonable rates
- FlameBlade
- SMITE!™ Master
- Posts: 8644
- Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2002 3:54 am
- Contact:
- Silent Sniper
- Bondsman of the Crimson Assfro
- Posts: 2189
- Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2002 7:48 pm
- Location: Bulldrek
- Sock_Monkey
- Bulldrek Pusher
- Posts: 761
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2002 7:59 pm
- Location: Under your bed.
- Kwyndig
- Grand Marshall of the Imperium
- Posts: 3613
- Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2002 7:55 am
- Location: The Orbiting Volcano Lair, high above the surface of Bulldrek
- Contact:
kwyndig@yahoo.com This sig for rent, reasonable rates
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Wow. This is actually pretty pitiful. I remember when newbie pumm...err...greetings were more violent. Ah well, time for some hot LESBALANGA! action with the targ...err...friend.
First, a little sex change...
TGCJEWELER!
TGC uses some of his long-stored essence to call upon the powers of the Realms to change the poor guy into a Jewel blow-up doll...accidentally keeping the unusually attractive green color, due to the rust on his casting skills
Dammit. I knew I should've used that spell more often. Curses! Oh, well.
LESBALANGA!
Suddenly, the hue and cry of a half dozen overweight lesbian troll females with limps start running through the thread, grab the doll, and continue through the thread unimpeded due to the extreme wrongness that was the image of overweight troll women with limps
GODS DAMMIT! You six should be ashamed of yourselves! I'm gone for like a year and you get out of shape like that?!?!?! Does NO ONE train you?
TGC wanders towards the damn corn, assfro twitching the entire way. It starts to angle towards Kitt...
NO! BAD ASSFRO! You don't eat anyone we don't remember from the last time we woke up and showed up for a tasty greeting. If you wanna eat Lord Death Hand, go right ahead. I've got some old industrial Mylanta in case you get heart burn...
First, a little sex change...
TGCJEWELER!
TGC uses some of his long-stored essence to call upon the powers of the Realms to change the poor guy into a Jewel blow-up doll...accidentally keeping the unusually attractive green color, due to the rust on his casting skills
Dammit. I knew I should've used that spell more often. Curses! Oh, well.
LESBALANGA!
Suddenly, the hue and cry of a half dozen overweight lesbian troll females with limps start running through the thread, grab the doll, and continue through the thread unimpeded due to the extreme wrongness that was the image of overweight troll women with limps
GODS DAMMIT! You six should be ashamed of yourselves! I'm gone for like a year and you get out of shape like that?!?!?! Does NO ONE train you?
TGC wanders towards the damn corn, assfro twitching the entire way. It starts to angle towards Kitt...
NO! BAD ASSFRO! You don't eat anyone we don't remember from the last time we woke up and showed up for a tasty greeting. If you wanna eat Lord Death Hand, go right ahead. I've got some old industrial Mylanta in case you get heart burn...
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
*Sigh*
They NORMALLY would be using large objects to violate your now-womanly body due to being the lesbian form of the Ungamunga Brigade...
However...they've also degenerated into a frothing mass of hormones and fat, so it's more like giant Roseanne clones are violating you with large objects...
My eyes...my poor eyes...
They NORMALLY would be using large objects to violate your now-womanly body due to being the lesbian form of the Ungamunga Brigade...
However...they've also degenerated into a frothing mass of hormones and fat, so it's more like giant Roseanne clones are violating you with large objects...
My eyes...my poor eyes...
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
*Crumbles to dust*Kitt wrote:*Kitt pimp-limps into the thread, lacking her pimp stick. She seems angry as she ambles up to LDH, one hand behind her back. She takes one of the sticks that he was using to turn Jong into a puddle, then proceeds to whap LDH upside the head with a frying pan, which was behind her back the whole time.*
"Watch which stick you use, putz. I hope you didnt get Jong goo on my stick."
Damnit. Of course you hit me in the one spot that turns me to dust.
*Blows away*
CURSES!
I am the evil monkey what lives in your nuts.
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
*COUGH* *HACK* *WHEEZE*
Ouch. Damn chest colds.
TGC uses one of Gina Diggers experimental anti-cold sprays...
Well, that feels...better. I think...
Oh look, it's Rook's Keep!
TGC starts for the door, ignoring the Deadians (Pervert Skeletons), zombies, and...some sort of undead...chicken...thing with a tentacle for an arm and a broom in the other...
'Scuse me...sorry...comin' through...*SQUISH* Whoops...JongWK, what're you doing here? Oh well. Hey, undead dudes? Chocolate Chip Muffin, right here!
TGC enters the keep, leaving the zombies, Deadians and the undead...chicken...thing with a tentacle for an arm and a broom in the other to have fun with the poor tasty...
Oh yeah...this 'ill be great!
Ouch. Damn chest colds.
TGC uses one of Gina Diggers experimental anti-cold sprays...
Well, that feels...better. I think...
Oh look, it's Rook's Keep!
TGC starts for the door, ignoring the Deadians (Pervert Skeletons), zombies, and...some sort of undead...chicken...thing with a tentacle for an arm and a broom in the other...
'Scuse me...sorry...comin' through...*SQUISH* Whoops...JongWK, what're you doing here? Oh well. Hey, undead dudes? Chocolate Chip Muffin, right here!
TGC enters the keep, leaving the zombies, Deadians and the undead...chicken...thing with a tentacle for an arm and a broom in the other to have fun with the poor tasty...
Oh yeah...this 'ill be great!
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
TGC thumps his chest, trying to settle his guts...
Dammit. I better regen before I meet up with Hanza...he-I mean she'll gut me like a tuna fish if I'm not up to par with that damned Big Ass Sword...
TGCREGEN!
THBOOM!
Ow...DAMMIT!
TGC notices LDH standing next to him inside the foyer at Rook's Tower...
Now how the hell did you get here? You DO realize this is a locus for all evil in the Jaden Realms?
Dammit. I better regen before I meet up with Hanza...he-I mean she'll gut me like a tuna fish if I'm not up to par with that damned Big Ass Sword...
TGCREGEN!
THBOOM!
Ow...DAMMIT!
TGC notices LDH standing next to him inside the foyer at Rook's Tower...
Now how the hell did you get here? You DO realize this is a locus for all evil in the Jaden Realms?
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
TGC has a sudden image of a flaming skeletal paladin carrying his own big ass sword and laying waste to evil with steel and flames
Wow...That would rock....
TGC whips out a Cross Punisher, undoing it's cover and setting it up for minigun mode.
Let's make some Deadians do the Cha Cha Cha, eh?
TGC lays waste to a dozen Deadians in a burst of deadly autofire.
WOOHOOO!
Wow...That would rock....
TGC whips out a Cross Punisher, undoing it's cover and setting it up for minigun mode.
Let's make some Deadians do the Cha Cha Cha, eh?
TGC lays waste to a dozen Deadians in a burst of deadly autofire.
WOOHOOO!
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
*LDH raises his holy blade and charges into a mass of the Deadians slaying the evil creatues as he goes. Heads fly off, bodies are engulfed in flame and some unlucky bastards explode with holy light*
[voice class=Duff Man] OH YEAH! [/Duff Man]
[voice class=Duff Man] OH YEAH! [/Duff Man]
I am the evil monkey what lives in your nuts.
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
Lick my butt and suck my balls, America FUCK YEAH!
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
TGC closes the Cross Punisher, having already spent most of the minigun ammo, and returns it to Hammerspace. He then re-reaches in and pulls out a black dai-katana that gleams with an orange-bluish light.
Ah, yes. Ebony Dai-katana with a fire and ice enchantment. Now, where's the bitch?
Who're you callin' a bitch, dammit! I'm a man!
From here, HanzA you look very much feminine. What're those, 36Cs?
Actually they're Ds-hey! That's it, you're gonna DIE!
TGC readies his sword and makes a 'come hither' motion
Come on you top-heavy wench! You thought the Diggers sisters were bad, wait 'til you try me on for size!
Ah, yes. Ebony Dai-katana with a fire and ice enchantment. Now, where's the bitch?
Who're you callin' a bitch, dammit! I'm a man!
From here, HanzA you look very much feminine. What're those, 36Cs?
Actually they're Ds-hey! That's it, you're gonna DIE!
TGC readies his sword and makes a 'come hither' motion
Come on you top-heavy wench! You thought the Diggers sisters were bad, wait 'til you try me on for size!
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
Dammit. There went my chance at a sixty line fight scene. Look at 'er. 'er eye's 'r' all swirly and stuff. Doesn't help you cracked her head on your skull. Ah, well. Let's see if Rook's home. He's usually got some wicked cool undead to play with.
TGC picks LDH up and out from between Hanza's clevage, and sets him upright.
Ready? Let's Go!
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
*The long-absent, tattooed, autonomous, grunger golem dashes through the thread, snatching the Muffin from Liniah's hands as he runs by.*
Tasty beatings have really mellowed out in the time that I've been away. Oh well.....
*While fleeing with the Muffin, Sykoholic makes a point of stomping on the gooed Jong with his Boots of SMITE!tm.*
Tasty beatings have really mellowed out in the time that I've been away. Oh well.....
*While fleeing with the Muffin, Sykoholic makes a point of stomping on the gooed Jong with his Boots of SMITE!tm.*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
*As the flaming boney one bends over to retrieve the MUFFIN, Syko kicks him squarely in the hiney with the Boots of SMITE!tm . The blow transfers the pulpy goo that is Jong from Syko's boot to LDH's backside*
That's MY muffin! I stole it fair and square!
That's MY muffin! I stole it fair and square!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
- The Grand Crusader
- Bulldrek Junkie
- Posts: 591
- Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 5:25 pm
- Location: Cedar Rapids, IA
TGC runs by, picks up Hanza and throws her over his shoulder, incidentally patting her on the ass...which wakes her up, and she's in a bitchy mood...
Damn you, put me down, or I swear I'll gut you like a fuckin' fish, you...you... ... say, who are you?
Uhm, the names TGC, I was leading an old school Undead Beatdown through Rook's Keep here, until my flaming paladin friend ran into you. So you wouldn't get caught in a muffin fight, I picked you up and started carrying you away from here.
A muffin fight? Right, and I'm gonna turn back into a guy when this is all over...
Look, you've fought the armsmaster, right? She wiped the floor with ye, right? These guys would wipe the floor with her...and they aren't even trained warriors.
...You know, cutting losses may be a good thing right now. Wonder if a cell over at Sanctuary would be safer than this...
So we leave them to level the keep, and we'll head towards Sanctuary then. Great.
TGC reaches into his coat, pulls out some rocket boots and heads towards the horizon...
Damn you, put me down, or I swear I'll gut you like a fuckin' fish, you...you... ... say, who are you?
Uhm, the names TGC, I was leading an old school Undead Beatdown through Rook's Keep here, until my flaming paladin friend ran into you. So you wouldn't get caught in a muffin fight, I picked you up and started carrying you away from here.
A muffin fight? Right, and I'm gonna turn back into a guy when this is all over...
Look, you've fought the armsmaster, right? She wiped the floor with ye, right? These guys would wipe the floor with her...and they aren't even trained warriors.
...You know, cutting losses may be a good thing right now. Wonder if a cell over at Sanctuary would be safer than this...
So we leave them to level the keep, and we'll head towards Sanctuary then. Great.
TGC reaches into his coat, pulls out some rocket boots and heads towards the horizon...
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa
*Dances the "Making Sure He Does Walk Any Time Soon" dance on LDH's legs, then grabs The Muffin and makes a hasty retreat.*
---------------------------------------------------------------------
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
What if I told you "insane" was working a job for 40 years at the end of which they tell you to piss off and you end up in a retirement home somewhere, hoping to die before suffering the indignity of not being able to make it to the bathroom in time. Wouldn't you consider that insane?
- Lord Death Hand
- No-Life Loser
- Posts: 10666
- Joined: Tue Mar 19, 2002 7:42 pm
- Location: Flatsville, Iowa